Wishes for More:

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It was Easter and I had decided to spend it with a dear friend. We don’t often see each other due to the nature of our jobs. We do however find time during holidays.During one of our days out, my friend shared some good news with me. She found a job, a dream job, well almost. I finally found courage to applied for a new job she said and I got it. Wow! great news, I said.

To say her next statements was a shock to me was an understatement. She went on to say this “ but it’s not the exact position I wanted. I would have loved to get the other open position. It’s much better than this job and I think I can Do a much better job than xyz who got it, after all I am better qualified.  

Are you crazy? You have just got his amazing job and here you are comparing it to someone else’s? I couldn’t believe it. I pulled her up straightaway. 

Here I was waiting for a child and all she can talk about is the fact that some else has got a better job than hers. 
We do that sometimes, don’t we? Constantly comparing our situation to others. Wishing we had something much better than our current situation. 

She’s got a better a job than i, She’s got a better marriage, I wish our relationship was like theirs. She’s got a better car, I belt everything is going well for her, she’s got 3 well put together children, 

How about, she’s got kids and I don’t and, she’s not even a Christian. She was very promiscuous and yady yady ya 

Yet she’s married and blessed with children. 

Infertility reveals certain things about ourselves which are ugly. It was during this phase of my life I discovered some unpleasant truths about myself which I had to deal with.

Yes, we have those moments where we feel really bad and allow our mind to wander off. Nothing wrong here. It is the continued comparison and feelings of unhappiness which has the potential to really turn us into ugly and angry waiters. 
Yes, someone have it better than me, 

Yes, they only just got married

Yes, they aren’t Christian. 

Whatever it is which threatens to change you from who you were before infertility, stop and check it. Deal with your emotions

Waiting isn’t easy, to come out of this season better, here are 3 practical steps to help guard your heart 

1. Find 3 things to be thankful for daily. Research shows that finding 3 different things to be thankful for frees us from worry and forces our mind to look deep within to find what’s always being there. Making this a daily habit takes the focus off our situation and to the positives in our lives. Adopting a grateful mindset frees us from fear and worry. Cultivate this habit and soon you will see your happiness reservoir increases. 2. Do something nice daily for someone else, leave a surprise for your post man, give something nice to the guy who serves you coffee. Ask the cleaner when her/his birthday is and get her/him a nice present, volunteer at a care home, write someone a nice anonymous note. doing something for others gives a nice feeling, in that moment and for the rest of that day your focus is on someone else, taken away from your issues. 


3. Pray: prayer releases faith and replace fear. It frees us from worry and increase trust. Praying often will release you from the need to compare ourselves with others. In prayer we yield our helplessness to the all knowing and all seeing one, we place our entire trust in him because we know he has our future in his hands and will always come through for us. Comparing ourselves with others is a natural human thing to do, however it can lead to depression of we constantly see ourselves worse of in comparison with others. We all have different battles we are engaged in, it is therefore pointless to wish for some else’s life. 

Be steady in yourself, have the confidence that you can come out of this with your hearts desires, and become a better person for it. 

Feel free to share with your circle and leave us a comment or email if you found this helpful. 

A Woman In Waiting

Deboko3 Comments

shread of hopeHelp Lord, I don’t know what to do. I am in a place where I desire to leave, but there appears to be no way out. I know you’ve promised a way of escape in every trial and tribulation. But the longer I go through the trial of infertility the longer it seems that there is no way out.

I still love and will always love you, but I feel like I am drained of all energy to pray and ask. I feel that asking you for the same thing over and over again, diminish what you are.

I feel fear, not fear of not having a child of my own but fear that we’ll travel this road for a long time before you’ll come through for us. Is that the case Lord? Is it wrong to want you to do it now for us, by this time next year to be holding our own child? Is it wrong to give you a time frame?

The reason I feel this way is because I am looking at time, thinking I am getting older, but I remember you are ageless and operates outside time and will bring to pass our hearts need for a child regardless of age. But Lord, I don’t want to be 40 before having a child! Can I ask that, can I ask that you do it for us now! Am I allowed to ask that? Or is that lack of faith? I don’t know Lord. You know.

I feel left behind by friends and family who get pregnant before they start trying.
I feel like a pawn in your hand which you can do as you wish, I also know that you are my father a God of love who will not forsake or leave me. I know THAT Lord.
But I also feel alone, I focus on you and your power, but I also can’t help wondering why it’s taking you this long to do it.

Another reason is what I see happening around, even young mums are tired bringing up their new born, the sleepless nights, the cries, the nappy changes etc. How much more me, but then again I remember you are our strength. You said they that wait upon shall renew their strength. I know too that you will renew our strength for parenthood. I just want to see you high and lifted up in this situation.

I felt this way yesterday and told my father how I feel.
Today he encouraged me with my “Our Daily Bread” Gal 4:4.
“When the fullness of time had come, God send his Son”.
It reminded me that God’s time is perfect, though I want to have it now, though I don’t want to be 40 and my husband 58 to have kids, one thing he assured me is that he is never a day late or early, he is always just on time.

In his perfect timing he gave us his Son, when the world desperately needed a saviour he came through for us. He is still the same God, I look up to him and my countenance was enlightened.

So whenever you feel like time is passing by, that the hand of the clock is ticking and counting down, and it seems like your egg store is rapidly diminishing, remember the one who creates time can stop time for your sake and bring your heart felt desires to pass in perfect time!

 

Feel free to leave a comment, and share on your social media site.

 

Causes Of Infertility In Women 

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Causes of infertility in Women

Statistics shows that 1 in 8 couples will suffer infertility. Infertility is the inability to conceive. In some cultures, infertility is often viewed as a woman’s fault, although this is not true. In a 3rd of cases it is due to low sperm count.  


Causes of infertility in women includes and not limited to the following

Damage to the Fallopian tubes

The fallopian tubes are the tubes along which an egg travels from the ovary to the womb. The egg is fertilised as it travels down the fallopian tubes. When it reaches the womb, it is implanted into the womb’s lining, where it continues to grow.

If the womb or the fallopian tubes are damaged, or stop working, it may be difficult to conceive naturally.

Ovulatory Problems

infertility is most commonly caused by problems with ovulation (the monthly release of an egg). Some problems stop women releasing eggs at all, and some cause an egg to be released during some cycles, but not others.

Endometriosis

Endometriosis is a condition where small pieces of the womb lining, known as the endometrium, start growing in other places, such as the ovaries.

This can cause infertility because the new growths form adhesions (sticky areas of tissue) or cysts (fluid-filled sacs) that can block or distort the pelvis. These make it difficult for an egg to be released and become implanted into the womb.

It can disturb the way that a follicle (fluid-filled space in which an egg develops) matures and releases an egg.

Scarring From Surgery

Pelvic surgery can sometimes cause damage and scarring to the fallopian tube or shorten the cervix (the neck of the womb).

Cervical mucus defect

When you are ovulating, mucus in your cervix becomes thinner so that sperm can swim through it more easily. If there is a problem with your mucus, it can make it harder to conceive.

Submucosal fibroids

Fibroids are benign (non-cancerous) tumours that grow in, or around, the womb. Submucosal fibroids develop in the muscle beneath the inner lining of the womb wall and grow into the middle of the womb.

Submucosal fibroids can reduce fertility, although exactly how they do this is not yet known. It is possible that a fibroid may prevent an embryo from implanting itself into your womb.

Pelvic inflammatory disease

Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) is an infection of the upper female genital tract, which includes the womb, fallopian tubes and ovaries. It is often the result of a sexually transmitted infection (STI). PID can damage and scar the fallopian tubes, making it virtually impossible for an egg to travel down into the womb.

Medicines and drugs

The side effects of some types of medication and drugs can affect your fertility. These medicines are outlined below.

Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs). Long-term use or a high dosage of NSAIDs, such as ibuprofen or aspirin, can make it more difficult for you to conceive.

Chemotherapy. Medicines used for chemotherapy (a treatment for cancer) can sometimes cause ovarian failure, which means your ovaries will no longer be able to function properly. Ovarian failure can be permanent.

Neuroleptic medicines are antipsychotic medicines often used to treat psychosis. They can sometimes cause missed periods or infertility.

Spironolactone – this is a type of medicine used to treat fluid retention (oedema). Fertility should recover around two months after you stop taking spironolactone.

Age

Infertility in women is also linked to age. The biggest decrease in fertility begins during the mid-thirties. Among women who are 35, 95% will get pregnant after three years of having regular unprotected sex. For women who are 38, only 75% will get pregnant after three years of having regular unprotected sex.

No Identifiable Reason or Unexplainable

if after carrying out all the above test and your results come out normal, you may be classed as unexplained, this was where I found myself.

We were told there is no reason why I should not fall pregnant with a year of trying.

It was not until two failed IVE cycle, 2 miscarriages several other treatments we fell pregnant.

Conclusion

The causes of infertility are numerous and differs for men and women. It is important to seek help if you have been trying for a year without success.

Disclaimer 

The writer is not a medical doctor. The views expressed here are from her personal experiences and research from the various medical resources like the NHS, infertility net work U.K. Please consult your Doctor if you need help with your diagnosis. 

National Infertility Awarness Week.

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This week is national infertility week,  to mark it, we want to focus on causes and cure of infertility. Infertility does not give any warning, often the first time couples find out that they have a problem conceiving is after marriage or after trying for a couple of months without success, even then the thought about […]

Room Of Hope

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imageI remembered the day I walked into the room set aside to be my nursery, it was my then gym. On this particular day as I entered the room I saw something different. Instead of a gym, I saw a crib.

i saw a beautiful room adorned in light lemon and green with drapes of gold, I saw a tiny crib by the window and a closet of beautifully hung clothes.

I also saw some wall deco, of little animals and hand prints, but I saw no baby. Instead of being elated and happy at the vision of my crib I was troubled, I didn’t see a baby. I tried to picture a baby But I couldn’t.

I was blinded by my desire to carry a baby, my world was consumed with this desire so much so that I could only see a room.

On this day I broke down and asked God to open my eyes to the truth of his word, to help me see through the eyes of faith.

I could not see my baby on this day, but after that prayer I took little steps of hope, and slowly  without trying, I could envision my child,

fertility has a way of clouding our vision. Remove the vail of despair and helplessness, see through the eyes of faith to what God has in store for you and bask in the assurance this brings.

A room beautifully adored with a baby to as call your own. Empty cribs, adored with white ribbons and little glitters of wool cut mittens,
Waiting to be worn,
Hats of cream, blue and pink colours, adore this space, waiting for that special little bundle
I do not known when this special person shall come down from above and take their home.
One thing is sure,
The day will come, and a cry will ring from
a room so beautifully adored.
A room where hope is born

© Rina Rose

Welcome to my blog.

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Ffaithful wait is about our walk through the path seldom taken, Infertility.

I have been there, a place where my faith was shaken, tried and tested. I walked this road and while on this journey, I learnt a few life truths which I journal.

The purpose of this blog is to  encourage couples who are currently facing infertility. Using my own story, I aim to provide useful tips on what to do and how to cope though this period.

I am a Christian and during this period of waiting, I found my sole comfort from the word of God and by taking little Steps of faith. My walk was not smooth my faith wavered, but God remained faithful.

He walked with me faithfully to bring my hearts desires to pass, my prayer is that you too will find peace, hope and joy as you faithfully wait on him.

Your partner in hope

 

Debbie