There are some topics that are rarely discussed openly within the African community, and infertility is one of them.
When a woman gets married, there is often an unspoken expectation that within a few months, news of a pregnancy will follow. For some couples, that may happen quickly. For others, however, the journey is very different.
Behind the smiles, family gatherings, and social occasions can be a silent struggle that many people never see.
The questions begin almost immediately.
“When are you having a baby?”
“What’s taking so long?”
“Is everything okay?”
While these questions may be asked innocently, they can carry a heavy weight. In many cases, the burden of answering them falls almost entirely on the woman.
She bears the silence.
She notices the stares.
She hears the whispers from neighbours, extended family members, and sometimes even those closest to her. She finds herself repeatedly explaining something she may not fully understand herself.
Why is it often the woman who is expected to provide answers?
Why is it the woman who carries the blame?
Whether a couple has been trying for six months, one year, three years, or even longer, the pressure can become overwhelming. The emotional toll affects not only the woman but also the marriage itself. Questions that begin outside the home can eventually find their way inside it.
In many African cultures, motherhood is often seen as a defining milestone for women. As a result, when pregnancy does not happen quickly, assumptions are made. Too often, those assumptions point directly to the woman.
Yet infertility is not exclusively a woman’s issue.
It is a couple’s journey.
Unfortunately, this reality is not always reflected in how our communities respond.
Let us consider the story of Mary and John.
To be continued
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