Avoid Depression 

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free PrintablesA wait that is hopeful is a wait that looks forward expectantly, purposely and joyously.

A wait which strengthens and prepares your heart for what you expect. What use is there in being miserable on the journey? Easy to say unh? Unfortunately misery often accompanied me while I waited for my little bean.

I thought I was strong, always the positive one until I couldn’t get pregnant. I kept it together for a while until the questions started coming. Questions from well meaning friends and foes. The scale finally tilted and I almost caved in to depression.

A subtle, creepy creature sneaks in, often  from a reaction to  an angry outburst, or insensitive slur it comes unannounced taking hold of its prey.

I felt I was losing control of my emotions and started feeling helpless. I sought help and found out that  the following can be a sign of depression:shake it off

Helplessness: research have shown that whenever we are depressed, we usually experience a feeling of helplessness. Our feelings are brought about by our thoughts which produces fruits. Good fruits or bad fruits.

If you constantly think thoughts like “why us/me”? “everyone is having a baby but me”, “will I ever have kids”?, “I give up”. This will be followed by a feeling of helplessness, which in turn leads to misery characterised by constant tears. 

Deep sadness: as he thinks, so he is. Infertility is a cause of misery which leads to deep sadness. An indescribable feeling which also leads to feelings of helplessness.

If you constantly dwell on the negative, joy and peace will elude you. How can you expect to feel great when your heart is heavy from pain. 

Feelings of rejection: as our thoughts leads to deep sadness in time we may begin to feel rejected. This feeling is a worse state of being because we may fall into the trap of interpreting the actions of everyone based on our issues.

I decided to do something about my mental state to avoid going over the edge.

  1.  Talk about my feelings: I started opening up about my feeling and soon found release. You can go for counselling if you do not want to feel vulnerable in front of friends. Your local clinic or health centre may be able to recommend a good counselling clinic. There might be sessions for those struggling to conceive, with programs designed to help deal with  depression.
  2. I decided to be joyful on  purpose: Your mind is the control room of your whole body. It sends signal to your brain, heart and body. Feed it with good and positive things and out of it will come joy. 

  3. Find inspiration around you: be inspired when you hear a good news story, either on the news or from a magazine or a kind act. Train mind to focus on the good concerning your situation. Controlling your thought is the first step in achieving freedom from depression. img_2580

  4. Be anchored to hope: hope is what keeps you going, believing and trying. Hopes is the tread which keeps you tied to the dream. If you don’t keep your hopes up, they will go down and soon you will drift away from your dreams, faith and beliefs. Be a prisoner to hope, build a strong resolved to try and trust again. Be convinced about something good coming your way.

  5. Pray: prayer really helped me let go of the hurt, pain and disappointment I felt from not falling pregnant. In praying we can release the heavy burden, sadness, helplessness and depression to God. In prayer, we become free.

I am not denying the fact that there will be days when tears is all you’ve got, when the pain of trying weighs you down. The pain is real and present. However, deciding to enjoy life and live free from depression may be the push you need to get  through it. 

Remember: the clouds will come, then it gives way to the sun. Every downpour will cease, trouble and pain will be followed by gain, we may understand some and  others we may not.

So whatever season you are in right now,  remember, after a while this too shall pass.

Your Friend and Partner in Hope

 

D’Ebi

 

We are equals

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My blood boils, as the news broke on national TV, how dare she bring that up I fumed at no one in particular. What kind of woman uses the fact that she has children over another woman who can’t? Only a woman who has never suffered the pain of infertility or loss of a child, I concluded.

I was enraged. I don’t know Theresa May personally, but I do understand what it is to suffer from infertility.

This was last month, during the leadership contest between Theresa May and Andrea Leadson, the only news that week was the interview given by Andrea Leadsom to the times newspaper. In a bid to throw the first mud she gave an interview to the times where she claimed she’s a better candidate because she has kids and her opponent did not.

Theresa May had previously openly talked about her inability to have kids. As I watched the story played out on national TV I was shocked at the insensitivity of her opponent.

Infertility should not be an ace to be used in a contest. The same way as one suffering from cancer, diabetes or other serious illness cannot be mocked.you are not inferior

I am reminded of the story of Hannah and her mate long time ago, both of them were married to the same men, unlike her mate, Hannah was unable to bear children. Her rival wife taunted her cruelly, rubbing it in and never letting her forget that God had not given her children. This went on year after year. Every time she went to the sanctuary of God she could expect to be taunted. Hannah was reduced to tears and had no appetite. Her mate made her felt inadequate at every opportunity she had.

The beauty of it all was that Hannah never uttered a word. She took her pain and her problem to the all-knowing and all faithful one.  Infertility, loss or stillbirth can open the door for others to thrown mud at you. People may secretly glee at your demise, or make sniggering remarks regarding your situation. Do not worry, just take your problems to God.  I remember when I got such remarks I always felt rage inside, but held my tongue.

 

Theresa May did the honourable thing and uttered not a word in her defence. Instead others fought for her. She didn’t have to do anything others took it upon themselves and called for Angela to resign, which she did.

The battle is not yours, the battle is the Lord’s.  He who has brought you this far will see you all the way. Just like Theresa, hold your peace, soon you will be matching your way to victory.

Infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth does not make you less qualify than anybody else, neither is anyone better than you because they have kids. We all fight different battles, the test of our faith comes in different ways. As you walk this road, be secured in the knowledge of who you are in Christ. You are a victor in every area of your life, belief it.  

I dedicate this piece to anyone who has tried and failed to see their desires birthed in a child

To see suffering turned to glory

To anyone who wished for a miracle but got a miscarriage

Your pain does not define you,

The snares and jeers will not deter you

Give your dreams wings to fly, soar above every pain and ugliness and see beyond to a peaceful and blessed ending.

 

Your friend in hope.

Debbie

My Wishes

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Have you ever looked at someone and wish you had what they’ve got. Do you envy  them because you think everything’s going well for them and they have it all made.

Infertility has a way of making you look at those with children as having it all.

At the beginning of my trying period, I had no qualms being around pregnant women or those with kids. But as the years rolled by without any news from me it started to become painful.

I always felt that those with kids have sorted lives. They were alright, as they seem to be perfectly happy and secured. Resentment sometimes show up when spiteful remarks were made.

I remember being at a BBQ sitting next to a friend who had 2 kids when one of her mummy friends walked up. They chatted about their kids for what seems like eternity when suddenly the mum looked at me and asked, have you got kids?

To which I replied, ‘no’.

She replied: “lucky you”, you won’t understand what it means”.

“These little devils are the most difficult things”.

This was one day I was tempted to say something like.

“Lucky you, you have never tried and failed to get pregnant”.

“You have some little devils, I have none”.

“You have never suffered the loss of a pregnancy”

“You obviously took in at the first try”.

“You have a sorted life, that’s why you make such insensitive remarks.

These thoughts did go through my mind, but I held my tongue. Remarks like these can derail your peace and upset you for the rest of the day, they come and go, so do not dwell on them. I cried inside but quietly smiled and walked away.

It turned out her life was not perfect and she was going through a divorce and was solely responsible for the kids, which is a huge task.

Yes, I wanted what she has, kids, my own kid but not at the expense of my marriage. My friend later apologised for the insensitivity of her friend.

It is natural for us to want kids, why shouldn’t we? The longer it takes for us to have them, the more difficult it becomes. These delays reveal so much about ourselves to us. The absence of kids in our lives may cause us to think others have perfect lives, far from it.

You too may think life is perfect for that friend, neighbour, sister or co-worker looking at them through the eyes of your situation.

Remember, even though they may not have struggled with infertility, they may have other issues to contend with, like caring for a severely disabled child or parent, an untreatable illness, a broken relationship, depression etc.

Whenever you find yourself making comparisons between yourself and others. Stop and count the many blessings in your life which they may not have.

Everyone has something and everyone equally doesn’t have something. So you have something that someone else doesn’t have and vice versa.

My experience with Infertility taught me that to have any peace in life I have to stop comparing my blessings or trials to that of others. I encourage you to do the same, do not compare your blessings or your trials to other people’s blessings or trials.

You are unique and peculiar, this experience is shaping you to become the best you there can be.

 

 

Not Inadequate

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My blood boils, as the news broke on national TV, how dare she bring that up I fumed at no one in particular. What kind of woman uses the fact that she has children over another woman who can’t? On…

Source: Not Inadequate

Not Inadequate

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do not hate any manMy blood boils, as the news broke on national TV, how dare she bring that up I fumed at no one in particular. What kind of woman uses the fact that she has children over another woman who can’t? Only a woman who has never suffered the pain of infertility or loss of a child.

I was enraged. I don’t know Theresa personally, but I do understand what it is to suffer from infertility.

The news this week has been of the interview given by Andrea Leadsom to the Times Newspaper. This came about as both she and Theresa May contested for the leadership of the conservative party. In a bid to throw the first punch she gave an interview to the Times where she claimed to be the best candidate because she has kids and her opponent don’t.

Theresa May has previously openly talked about her inability to have kids. As I watched the story played out on national TV I was shocked at the insensitivity of her opponent.

Infertility should not be an ace to be used in a contest, neither should other illness be used in the political arena.

I am reminded of the story of Hannah and her mate long time ago, both of them were married to the same men. Unlike her mate, Hannah was unable to bear children. Her rival wife taunted her cruelly, rubbing it in and never letting her forget that God had not given her children. This went on year after year. Every time she went to the sanctuary of God she could expect to be taunted. Hannah was reduced to tears and had no appetite. Her mate made her felt inadequate at every opportunity she had.

The beauty of it all was that Hannah never uttered a word. She took her pain and her problem to the all-knowing and all faithful one.

Infertility, loss or stillbirth can open the door for others to thrown mud at you. People may secretly glee at your demise, or make sniggering remarks regarding your situation.

Do not worry, just take Your problems to God.  I remember when I got such remarks I always felt rage inside, but held my tongue.

Theresa May did the honourable thing and uttered not a word in her defence. Instead others fought for her. She didn’t have to do anything others took it upon themselves and called for Andrea to resign, which she did.

The battle is not yours, the battle is the Lord’s.  He who has brought you this far will see you all the way. Just like Theresa, hold your peace, soon you will be matching your way to victory.

I dedicate this piece to anyone who has tried and failed to see their desires birthed in a child

To see suffering turned to glory

To anyone who wishes for a miracle but got a miscarriage

Your pain does not define you,

The snares and jeers will not deter you

Give your dreams wings to fly, soar above every pain and ugliness and see beyond to a peace and blessed ending.

Surviving Treatment

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Unexplained? How do you treat something you cannot explain? This was where we found ourselves after I was diagnosed with Unexplained infertility.

‘Relax’

‘Take it easy’

‘Try again’. Was the general comments I got.

I am a healthy eater and love most things healthy. I can say I am one of those who eat at least 5 or more portions of fruits and veg Daily. So it upset me to be told to eat healthy. I just want to “scream” You don’t know me.

Having tried and Failed to get pregnant, I decided to dig deeper into “the world of the unexplained”.

My instincts tells me the reason I was unable to conceive was due to my pre existing health condition which no one took into account.

Prior to getting married I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, Rheumatoid arthritis and I was put was on hydroxychloroquine. I was put on a course of treatment and was advised not to start a family due to the effect it will have on the unborn baby.

After a year and half on this drug I was given the all clear that the disease was under control and came off. Shortly after we began trying for a baby.

My research into the link between autoimmune deficiencies and infertility started after my failed IVF.

What I did:

Mr google came to my aid. I googled the two words, and  several research papers on the topic showed up on the search results. What I discover gave me hope, as my suspicion was confirmed that not only was I wrongly diagnosed as unexplained, I may have found the right place to go for treatment.

After the two failed IVF cycle on the NHS, We decided to go private. We decided on a clinic with the highest success rates for people with pre existing health conditions like mine, for over 35 like me, one which offered Tailor made treatment for every patient.

Just when we though I can’t get pregnant naturally, I fell pregnant twice but sadly lost both pregnancies. The pain of misscarriage. It took us two years before embarking on another course of IVF.
My advice to you today if you have tied and failed to get pregnant naturally or by other methods is to NEVER Give UP: do everything within your power to get your desires and only after you have exhausted all options should that be an Option.

The journey to holding our first baby was turbulence, graced with doubts and questions but we stayed the course.
In order to survive treatment. I made a decision to be of a sound mind and be prepared whatever the outcome.

These 10 steps helped me survive the treatment process and kept my spirts up.

  • I decided to stopped focusing on the outcome and the “what ifs”. I used to focus on the negative to the point of exhaustion. I couldn’t see any positives from the process. Do not be excessively focus on the outcome. You have been on this journey long enough so stay strong. Our destination may be within reach or may still be far off. Regardless, decide how you want to ride the journey. In misery, distress, hopelessness or with faith, hope and belief in the process. If you did not think it will work, why begin at all. Be full of assurance, riding on the wings of hope.

  • Whenever your monthly period show up, don’t retreat into pity or why me mode, go out and see a funny motive to lift up your spirit.
  • Be positively expectant of something good happening . You may currently be undergoing treatment or beginning the journey of trying or may have tried and failed. Whatever your reality maybe, enjoy the journey, by surrounding yourself with positive things. Get up each day and look forward to the possibility of what might be.

  • find someone who has a more severe illness than yours, be an encouragement to them. Start a ministry of encouragement for others and comfort others with the comfort you have received.

  • Go out for a drink with a friend. Focus on the beauty of life around you, the plants, the birds in the air, the air we breath in.
  • Read a good book, something different from how to get pregnant.

  • Speak positively to yourself. Tell yourself nothing is wrong with you or your partner. Even if something is wrong, be hopeful that you are on your way to receiving help and in time everything will be alright. Sing and dance: dancing and singing releases some feel good hormone. Your mood will be uplifted taking you away from the intensity of trying.

  • Go for a walk and release all the tension within you. find a local gym where you can be part of the swimming or running club.
  • Focus on yourself, your progress and how far you have come. You may not be where you want to be, but you are not where you use to be.
  • Decide you will be stronger regardless of the outcome. This is not going to define your life or happiness, as much as we want the end results to be good, things may happen which is beyond our control

After You have done all: let go and let God, he knows what you are going through and he will bring you through. You are Built to handle adversity so face yours with faith and courage.

 

Exploring Treatment Options. 

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The issues faced by couples or anyone suffering infertility are made worse when you have no idea where and when to seek help.

I have spoken with several women who all agree that they took to seek help as they had no idea where or when to ask for help. Dealing with the emotional roller coaster that comes with infertility is no small feat, it is therefore important to know when to seek help and where to go.

Find out when to seek help in this post: Infertility: When to seek help.

Today’s post explores the various treatment options available to anyone who has been diagnose with the dreaded disease.

First step is to book an appointment with your family doctor.

Based your circumstances and the test results your doctor will then be able to recommend the next step to take.

Treatments for different age group:  There is no one size fit all, when it comes to treatments. Medical evidence shows that a woman’s age affects her ability to get pregnant. Women are Built differently; we have finite number of eggs. The chances of A woman over 35 years getting pregnant are reduced at that age and if she does become pregnant, her risk of miscarriages goes up.

Depending on your age, your doctor may recommend that you skip some of the steps taken by younger couples, and get you on the treatment ladder as quickly as possible.

It is important to know that no treatment will guarantee a positive result. However due to advances in technology, millions of couples like us have gone on to have babies via fertility treatment.

First steps: diagnosis, we explore the possible causes of infertility in both men and women: read it here.

Treating problems with Ovulation: a woman releases eggs once a month, if test shows that you do not ovulate or release enough eggs clomiphene will be given to stimulate your ovaries to release some eggs.

Unexplained infertility: where test shows there is no reason a woman can’t fall pregnant; several options can be exploring. Like, administering clomiphene, hormone injection and Insemination.

Hormone Injections and Insemination. (An insemination procedure uses a thin, flexible tube (catheter) to put sperm into the woman’s reproductive tract, to improve the chances of pregnancy.

Intrauterine insemination: Intrauterine insemination is placing the sperm into a woman’s uterus when she is ovulating, using a catheter, passed into the vagina, through the cervix to the uterus.

Artificial insemination (AI): Artificial insemination is another name for intrauterine insemination but can also refer to placing sperm in a woman’s vagina or cervix when she is ovulating. The sperm is expected to travel into the fallopian tubes, where they can fertilize the woman’s egg or eggs

Blocked or damaged tubes: if your fallopian tubes are blocked, possible treatment may include tubal surgery:

Endometriosis treatment may include laparoscopic surgery to remove endometrial tissue growth. For more severe endometriosis, other treatment options will be exploring.

IVF: In Vitro fertilisation is one of the treatment options available to anyone finding it difficult to fall pregnant: During IVF an egg is removed from the woman’s ovaries and fertilised with sperm in a laboratory: The fertilised egg, (embryo), is put back into the woman’s won to grow and develop into a baby.

IVF can be done using the eggs and sperm of both couples or eggs and sperm of donors.

Conclusion:

If you have been trying to conceive without success, please consult your doctor in the first instance and talk through the various treatment options available to you. There are no one size fits all when it comes to treatment for infertility.

My wish for you is that you will find peace through this process as you wait for your special miracle of a child. As you wait in faith, keep your hopes alive, because nothing is impossible to him who believes.

We would love to hear from you, please comment and share on social media.

 

 

Sources: We seek to bring you up to date information and have complied information from the following health site , NHS choices, Nice websites and HFEA.

Disclaimer: the content of this blog are not intended to treat or diagnose, please consult your doctor in first instance to discuss the choices available to you.

The Pain of Misscarriage

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what to do when you feel stuck (1)In today’s news was Gordon Ramsey and wife who had suffered a miscarriage at 5 months. I was particularly drawn to this story because I too suffered a few miscarriages. As I read their story something struck me, it doesn’t matter if you already have 4 lovely kids or are waiting for your first child, the pains are just as raw, cruel and real. It doesn’t matter if you are wealthy or poor, miscarriage knows no class.

What it feels like:

I know first-hand what it feels like. For a couple or woman suffering from infertility, falling pregnant and having a miscarriage is the worst nightmare. when we finally fall pregnant with the baby we’ve waited for, we were in disbelief. It’s funny how we gap in disbelief when something we have been waiting for finally happened.

When I found out I was pregnant, I walked around in disbelief for days, no one knew, except my hubby. We did not jump in excitement but just went about numb, until the 6th week, when it felt like we can begin to hope.

HOPE DASHED

Hope is a beautiful thing, it fills your heart with joy, and gladness. I walked around like I was carrying a secret, which I was.

Hope brings happiness and offers peace eternal. Until my story changes, I lost my baby at 11 weeks, no heartbeat. Something was wretched out of me.

How can this be happening to me? God no, how can I have waited so long for a baby only to have my hope dashed again? Is this going to be another story of infertility and loss. I can remember thinking I can suffer one, but not both.

I hoped it won’t happen again and I was wrong. I lost two babies in a row, hope gone. The worse part was I had to bleed it out, I had to have a mini labour. It was not a pleasant experience as I watched my child slowing bleed away as I called it.

YOUR REALITY

You too may have suffered the same fate, and feel at your wits end, perhaps you are well in age and wondering if you will ever fall pregnant again, or you maybe young and feel the uncertainty of the future, as you feel helpless, lonely and hopeless.

Tears were my frequent companions most days as my heart became too heavy from the burden I bear. I felt as if life was having a laugh at my expense.

I wanted answers but none was fought coming:

“It happens” was the response from doctors,” just try again was what I got from friends”, it was with dread I went to my appointments. Even now the pain is still real.

I HOPED AGAIN:

But I found the strength to go on, to live again, to hope and to try again. There is an appointed time for everything under the sun, I reasoned, my season will come. My help comes from the Lord, who helped me to hoped again, dreamed again and believed again. what to do when you feel stuck

Although my questions remained unanswered, He became my partner in hope: I found comfort in his word:

  “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence. Psalm 42:5

He gave me strength to wait again:” I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, and in His word do I hope.  Psalm 130:5.

Waiting is always the hardest part through it all: with Infertility, we are constantly waiting, waiting for the test to show positive, waiting at the doctor’s office, waiting at for the test results, waiting more waiting: But with his strength, the wait was made easier, as I place each disappointment in his care.

My wish for you is that you will keep hope alive, no matter what, and when the wait seems endless just draw strength from his word which will infuse you with peace and the patience you need to keep try again.

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:13

feel free to share with your friends and please comment if you have found it useful.

Your partner in hope

Debbie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Infertility: When to seek help

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Following on from my post, causes of infertility in women  in women, I want to examine the treatment options available;

LIFE (1)According to the Human fertilization and embryology Authority, 80% of couples who have regular sexual intercourse (that is, every two to three days) and who do not use contraception will get pregnant within a year.

The majority of the remaining 20% achieve a pregnancy within two years of trying.

An estimated one in seven couples has difficulty conceiving. There are several possible reasons for not getting pregnant naturally.

In men, Infertility is usually due to low numbers or poor quality of sperm.

Women become less fertile as they get older. For women aged 35, about 95% who have regular unprotected sexual intercourse will get pregnant after three years of trying. For women aged 38, only 75 % will do so. The effect of age upon men’s fertility is less clear.

Sometimes infertility problems can be due to a combination of factors. It is reported that in a third of cases, a clear cause is never established.what to do when you feel stuck

Where can I get help?

If you have not been able to get pregnant after two years of regular, unprotected sexual intercourse, either one or both of you may have a fertility problem.

However, you don’t need to wait that long to seek help, see your family Doctor as soon as possible, if you are concerned about the length of time.

At the initial stage:  …Your doctor will take a medical history, give you a physical examination and may recommend some tests or a few change in lifestyle.

You will be offered a test, if you have been trying to get pregnant for over a year, to check that you are ovulating and your partner should be offered tests to check his sperm.

Further test will be offered (see below) if nothing is found after carrying out the above test:

Initial test includes: for Women

  • Cervical smear test if you haven’t had one recently.
  • Urine test for chlamydia, which can block your fallopian tubes, preventing you from becoming pregnant.
  • Blood test to see if you are ovulating. This is done by measuring progesterone in a blood sample taken seven days before your period is due.
  • Blood test to check for German measles (Rubella) which, if contracted during the first three months of pregnancy, can harm your unborn baby.
  • Blood test during your period to check for hormone imbalances –measurement of FSH (follicle stimulating hormone, LH (luteinising hormone) and oestradiol. This test can also identify possible early menopause as a cause of subfertility.

Tests for men

  • Sperm test to check for abnormalities.
  • Urine test for chlamydia, which, in addition to being a known cause of infertility in women, can also affect sperm function and male fertility.

 what happens next?

  • If your test results are normal and you have been trying for a baby for less than 18 months, your family doctor may suggest you make a few lifestyle changes and continue trying to conceive naturally.
  • If the tests reveal a possible fertility issue, your doctor will refer you to a fertility specialist, who will carry out further tests and possible treatment at your local hospital or fertility unit.

Getting help and getting it quick is very important especially if you are over 30. Although statistics shows that more people over 35 are having kids, it is important to seek help early in order to get the help you need if necessary.

my prayer and hope for you is that you will find help and in so doing, come to know the joy of having a child of your own.

Your partner in hope:

Debbie

 

Other Related article:

causes of infertility in women

sources

Human fertilisation and embryology authority, NHS

 

When We Rant. 

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I want out, I cannot do this anymore

I am tired, I am worn out, I cannot try another month.

I carried on ranting at no one in particular, I guess God was the closest one so you can say I was ranting at Him. A thought suddenly dropped in me, it was as if someone spoke .

Is your womb tired of waiting? I stopped to think about it, really is my womb tired or am I just tired and angry that my womb is still empty.

As I look back over my diary, I smiled in recollection at the day I vented on God.

I pondered this over and over, and asked myself the question. Is my womb tired? Did it scream out at me to stop trying? No, My womb was not tired, I was, my soul and heart yearned for a baby,
I yearned to carry my child. 

After this rant I was still and quiet for a while.

I recalled being in that position for hours, I might have fallen asleep, then I woke up to a warmth that was both comforting and safe. My Heavenly Father came down and wrapped his arms around me and filled me with his warmth and comfort.

I stood up filled with peace. He cares about my needs, he has not forgotten me, he is not angry at my rant.

Waiting for a child does all kinds of things to your senses, you talk to yourself, to an empty crib/room, suspicious of friends and rant at God. We experience all kinds of emotions, guilt, fear, loneliness, the list is endless. In the midst of my emotional roller coaster, I was able to do these 3 things daily, I stopped beating myself up, I practise meditating, and I became more thankful, it did not happen overnight, by committing 10 minutes at the beginning I was able to experience peace while I wait.
Here are my 3 tips to help you as you wait:  


1. Don’t beat yourself up, it is normal to be frustrated by the long wait, to cry and question our decision to carry on. Don’t beat up yourself or feel bad that you have reacted the way you did. Each time it happens see the next step below and while meditating, you will experience a calmness you have never felt before.

2. Have a quiet moment with yourself daily, no matter how busy you are, set time apart to be quiet. During such times, you can decide to put on some calming music, mediated by breathing in and out and just focus on the breathing, or you can just speak encouraging words to yourself. Practising calm goes a long way to release us from the tension of waiting. I am usually reinvigorated, more peaceful, hopeful and most of all, reassured that I am whole, sound and normal.

3. Be thankful always: it is so easy to take our eyes of the many blessings surrounding us, as infertility have a way of clouding our vision. Practise being thankful daily. I read sometime ago that finding 3 different things to be thankful for daily creates an atmosphere of happiness and encourages the mind to focus on the positives rather than the negatives. You can find 3 things to be thankful during your quiet times.

The more I did these the more change I experienced, everyone notice the change in me, my friends and family commented that I was a different person, truth be told some even thought we had stopped trying as we they could not understand why I looked so at peace and happy.

Our experiences should make us better, not bitter

So the next time you go on a rant spree. Don’t beat yourself you can let loose on you Heavenly Father, he can take it, he knows your deepest needs. When you feel tired and think you cannot stand another red flow, another stare from friends and family. When you feel You cannot face another negative test, he will be right by your side with arms wide open waiting to hold you.

Let your soul run to him for he is your comfort and strength. The journey to having your hearts desires met may be long but the road to him is not.